My toaster and I are fighting a battle of wills
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I've taken to calling it a series of names (usually the "maybe-toast"-er) and it's taken to keeping me guessing as to whether it's actually doing what it was intended to do.
It started not long after we got it. From day one, it was somewhat disappointing to me (I didn't choose it). To begin with, it can only toast two pieces of bread at a time, and I rarely, if ever, have less than four. Nevertheless, initially it seemed sufficient enough at doing what it was supposed to do. Then, soon after, it decided that popping the bread up was a little over and above what it had expected to be asked for, so it took to making a relatively half-hearted effort at it from that point onwards; shoving the bread up just high enough to raise the push-down handle on the side, but not quite high enough for you to be able to get a reasonable grip on the bread without burning your fingers.
Since then, it's got progressively worse. Each successive pop-up has aimed gradually lower. And because of the rather unnecessary design of the parts inside that hold the bread (wire grills that clamp each slice in place when the handle is pushed down—as if it would otherwise attempt to fly away), over time, it decided to hold on to the bread rather more enthusiastically than it would do anything else.
More recently, the pop-up has decidedly more 'pop' than 'up'. In fact, in the last couple of weeks, the term has little or no relevance whatsoever, in that it now just makes a clicking noise and turns the heated components off.
Furthermore, the device has decided to contribute far less than one would ordinarily expect to its primary function. It's not a big toaster at the best of times, and one normally needs to turn the bread over half way through to make sure it toasts the other end of the bread (the result being that the middle is noticeably crispier than either end). Lately, however, it has decided that while it will be on for the normal length of time, by the time it comes to the popping up stage (or, now, the 'subtle click'), the bread still looks remarkably familiar to how it looked when it went in.
It's left me feeling that some of these devices aren't really worth the effort. A grill would toast bread just as well (or, in this case, better), albeit one side at a time. And yet we buy these appliances in the hope that they'll make our lives that little bit easier and less frustrating.
As for the future of the "maybe-toast"-er, what it probably doesn't realise—seeing that it is, after all, an electrical appliance—is that its days are numbered. Very soon it will find itself jobless and homeless and in its place will be another such device that is hopefully rather more committed to the task of living up to its name.