The silent conversation
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It was winter. It was cold. The weather was blustery and often wet with it. It was hardly the time to stop and have a conversation, especially since both parties were in separate cars with the windows wound up against the elements while sat in separate lanes, waiting for the traffic lights in front to change to green and send us on the remainder of our separate journeys. And yet when I find myself in these situations, the British person in me feels compelled to be polite.
When someone you know, or at least recognise, draws up alongside you at a junction while in a car, the default reaction, if eye contact is made, is to nod one's head in reverse and raise one's eyebrows. It's a sort of universal silent greeting for when speaking out loud is either not an option or not feasible. A little wave is permissible, as is mouthing the word 'hi' if so inclined. The conversation can be continued with a series of hand gestures, such as the okay sign or a thumbs up, to inquire as to each other's health, by which time hopefully the lights will have changed and you can nod or wave farewell.
The thing is, I'm not the most adept of conversationalists at the best of times, so I'm never sure what to do if that moment is drawn out. Imagine, for example, if the traffic lights in front stay on red for an extended period of time. Having acknowledged the other's presence, is one supposed to just ignore them from that point onwards, whilst waiting for the lights to change? And if not, where else can the conversation go?
My usual move is to occasionally make eye contact again, perhaps rolling my eyes or drumming my fingers in an exaggerated mime of mock impatience. I don't mean to. I know it's not funny. I just can't help it. It's like when an awkward silence occurs in normal conversation and one feels the need to fill it. I'm relieved when the other person does a similar mime as I know then that they're feeling as uncomfortable as me. It's even more of a relief when they do it first. It means I can adopt the default response, which is miming a silent chuckle. Obviously the initial gesture isn't at all funny so it wouldn't be an actual laugh—and the other person knows this—but it would be rude not to complete the cycle.
I'm rarely impatient when in a car, but find these situations torturous, even when I'm fond of the other person. I just don't wish to appear rude or inept by not continuing an impossible conversation. I'd love to learn sign language. I can't help but feel it would be immeasurably useful in situations like this if everyone else knew it too. Since that is unlikely, however, I'll instead hope for one of two things: that either my journeys are frequented only by strangers, or that the lights change quickly, so only the initial nod is required. It's not that I'm unhappy to see you. I'm just a terrible mime.