What to do in a zombie-related emergency
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Killing zombies can be such a messy and unpredictable business. Since they're already dead in the traditional sense, it's sometimes hard to tell if what you've done has been completely successful. The last thing you want after lengthy fight is for them to get back up again and keep shuffling towards you. It's just not energy efficient.
One of the great things about being shot six times in the head is the finality of it. There's very little room for doubt that the job hasn't been done. There aren't many things that can survive this brilliantly effective approach, including zombies. For most creatures, the head is where the brains are kept*, and most creatures need their brain intact in order to survive.
Of course, shooting isn't the only way. As previously discussed, there are all manner of ways to finish off your typical zombie. Now, admittedly, it's a fairly head-centric selection of methods, but within that scope, you still have a considerable number of options. Blunt objects, sharp objects, heavy objects... All of them can be used to subtract zombie from brain in a relatively efficient manner, providing you know what you're doing.
As an aside, it's generally worth checking—ideally from a distance—that your zombie really is dead in the traditional sense before killing it in a rather more permanent one. Despite the fact humans can, and occasionally are, a lot nastier than most zombies, there are all sorts of laws that make them a protected species and will make things a little tricky for you if it turns out you even attempted the permanent kind on a non-zombie. And besides, despite the evidence on display from having travelled down to London several times in recent weeks, I'm still 99% certain that zombies don't actually exist. Okay, fine, maybe just 90%, but London really is a very eclectic place.
Now, assuming you've chosen your method of zombie annihilation, you need to be sure you're ready to use it as needed. Preferably you won't need to. It's a foolish person that actively goes looking for zombies to kill. Despite their traditionally slow-moving approach to things, they do tend to gather en masse and emerge from the most unlikely of places, and at the most inopportune times. You're better off finding a nice hiding place and waiting it out (like Tesco).
If a zombie does arrive at your hiding place, try to be quiet. It's no good hiding in a dusty cupboard because we all know the inevitable sneeze will come. And hiding under the bed only works if you're not whimpering like a baby. If you're spotted, your best course of action is usually to run as far away as possible and find somewhere else to hide. If a confrontation with your undead foe becomes unavoidable, keep a safe distance. Zombies fight dirty and are particularly fond of biting, which rarely ends happily for the bitee.
Sometimes, however, the battle is lost and by running or fighting, you're only delaying the inevitable. At the end of the day, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. The biting part doesn't take long and is often quite contagious. And, as catchphrases go, "urr… brains…" is quite catchy.
* Arguably with the rumoured exception of some men.